I actually knew what my grandmother was talking about long before I laid eyes on this clip. The getup surrounding Megan is pretty ghetto, which may as well have been done intentionally

Hopeful #7 - Megan

“Watch out for those low self-esteem white girls do will refuse to associate with you for any reason at all because you aren’t black. It’s not like they pose any threat, physical or emotional or anything, just watch out for them.”

The above piece of wisdom comes from my grandmother during her final days as a member of the living. Actually, it was far less eloquent and very politically incorrect, but you get the idea. All my life, I had no idea what the hell she was talking about. Then I download and view Megan’s clip, and the words all of a sudden make sense.

Megan claims a positive, glowing personality, but can barely force a smile on her face. The other point she uses to pimp herself out is the fact she has past cheerleading experience, and this is far more convincing than her previous claim.

Rather than perform some mortifying, semi-coordinated shout-a-thon reducing the validity of her product as a cheerleader as many a girl here will, Megan performs a series of stunts (scorpion, heel stretch, splits and back handspring in that order) common among cheerleaders. None of these are terribly grand, but at least we know she knows how to do them. In fact, the only stunt she does that is duplicated by another girl here is the splits, which is only done by one other contestant (much more impressively) outside of this video. Her acts are probably bogged down by space constraints, the inability to summon that substantial positive energy she supposedly has, and not giving a fuck.

Stunting competence aside, I’m not compelled to vote for a girl whose only aspirations in life are ostensibly to dance in hip hop videos.