Hopeful #20 - Amy

Amy starts off the video by talking about her figure. That’s refreshing. She hints she is one of those who should be wearing one of those “hottie with the body” shirts you see sometimes, but I’m not quite so sure. For starters, you don’t get a good look at much of her body at all, so for all I know, her back could be covered with chicken pox and AIDS legions.

Secondly, the claim is suspect because from we see of that figure of hers is, it’s telling me “recovering anorexic” and/or “will soon be anorexic (again?).” In other words, perfect for the pages of TeenWhore magazine. Gaining 5-10 pounds would push her off this plateau.

Next Amy discusses the virtuous aspects of her potential bunnygirling duties. Namely, that feeling of glowing warmth one gets by putting smile across the face of another humantype. As far as personal motivations go, this is far more eyebrow-raising than “GIMMIE 5 GEES!”

Then Amy enters a state of semi-dreaming when she speaks of the possibilities of the modeling contract attached to this contest. She seems to be under the impression the next step after winning this contest is Victoria’s Secret, although I believe this contract will more likely land her in the basement of a convicted sex offender with a Polaroid camera.

She also knows the names who will be signing her paychecks as some ass-kissing of Midway (“great company!”) and the Slugfest games (“awesome games millions will play!”), which although these utterances made me wince, I do accredit her for at least knowing this stuff. I’m sure she’s kicking herself now (with those athletically-primed lower extremities of hers) that many an IGNer got to see some shameless, hyperbole-laced brownnosing to no avail.

As original (and long - the longest entry of them all) as her stationary self-advertisement was, it’s still merely a stationary self-advertisement, and has little place in a joint like this.