ArkFullofSorrow.  Yes, ArkFullofSorrow.


Here were examine the roster of Legends of the Diamond and find out how fitting of a title this is, as well as other snarky comments when appropriate.  So, let's do it!

The first picture gives us a list of the players you can choose from.

I'd have liked a less-sucky interface, with perhaps a place for their position or something, so you don't go picking 11 outfielders.  Granted, these guys are supposed to be legends, so we're supposed to be on a first-name basis with all these players, but this is clearly not the case with all (although a baseball fan can probably pick out 90% of these names).  First the pitchers...

Bob Gibson

I have nothing to say about the portrait other than it's quite good, but the quote is one prime example of good old fahsioned NES Engrish. Yeah, he had an absolutely transcendent 1968, a performance that played no small role in convincing people changes needed to be made to accommodate hitters, one that deserves mention here.  The far less impressive strikeout total is also mentioned, a total that would eventually be surpassed many times by wide margins.  The quote also lists a few pitches, implying that he both threw all of them in real life (he does) and that they can all be thrown in Legends of the Diamond (no).  His control, while good, is probably not as good as many of his other accomplishments.

Is he a Legend?  I won't gripe much about his inclusion in the ultimate club, since his statistics did reach "oh crap" territory for just long enough and was rarely humiliatingly bad; many experts put him there. But there are pitchers out there who are more deserving in my opinion and strikes me as more of a high Level 4 guy.  I mean, yeech, Bret Saberhagen has more career Cy Young Award shares than Gibson.

Cy Young

Once again, a pretty excellent portrait if I say so myself, even if he did look like he was on the crapper.  Although Cy Young pretty much looked that way in every picture of him.  Over 500 Wins?  We can see that by the info above.  That space is better used by discussing how this is the most wins ever and it's increasingly unlikely that record will fall.  Greatest Pitcher Ever?  That's debatable, although few people will recoil with shock and fright with that proclamation.  I mean, yeah, win record, but also loss record, one that will most definitely stand as well.  I think that line of text would be better used saying how baseball's award for the top pitcher in the game is named for him.

Is he a Legend?  Without a doubt.  A Level 5 guy easy.  Perhaps not the greatest, but you can't spell Level 5 without Denton True.

Dizzy Dean

An extremely popular (especially among Southerners - he was from Arkansas and had his best seasons with St Louis, the southern and westernmost team around at the time) pitcher in his day.  If sportswriters weren't composing venerating prose about somebody on the Yankees during the 1930s, they were gushing about Dizzy Dean.  An exciting player on the field, and his offbeat personality away from the diamond added to the fun.  His text box should say something to this effect, as opposed to his strikeouts.  Yeah, he led the early 30s in punchouts, but he never struck out more than 199 in a season, a statistic that's pretty funny today.  It's like Ty Cobb leading the league in homers in 1909... by hitting 9 of them all year.

Unfortunately, he just couldn't keep it up.  He got hurt in his final season with the Cardinals and never reached greatness again.

Is he a Legend?  No.  Yeah, he was well on his way until he got hurt, but that doesn't let him in.  I mean, my cousin Brett was real good at math until he fell off a tractor and hurt his head and damaged his brain.  Do you think MIT let him in?  No.  No they did not.  He's a Level 3 guy at best.

Lefty Gomez

They got the wrong Lefty.  They should've put in Lefty Grove, and I hope that's what they originally wanted to do.  Hell, I even typed the name Lefty Grove up at the top of this row there.  I mean, you know you're fishing for praiseworthy deeds when you mention alleged great performances in exhibition games (which, if  you look at the link, you will find it wasn't quite legendary).

The only reason I can think of for using Gomez over Grove is because they were so intent on using that portrait.  I mean, look at that guy.  He isn't messing around.  He looks much more imposing than his superior counterpart of the same era and nickname.  This is the look of a guy who would dominate the live ball era well past the prime of his career (as Grove did), not the look of a guy who would be smacked around just as he was aged to hit the prime of his career (as per Gomez).

Is he a Legend?  Are you kidding me?  I wouldn't have voted for him in the Hall, and the writers didn't either.  The Veterans did, so a Level 1 guy he is.

Whitey Ford

Well at least this guy is a true Hall of Famer, a great pitcher in the clutch and all (as indicated by his MVP votes in seasons where his stats were a little lacking).  And he had a really big nose, I guess.

Is he a Legend?  No.  A definite Hall of Famer, sure, Level 3 easy, but Legend? No way.  His record is mainly as good as it was because he was on the Mantle Yankees.

Steve Carlton

I haven't commented on the comment box because, as you can see, none of the other pitchers had nothing to say aside from the fact they were happy their steroids were working.  But I jest!  That particular brand of performance-enhancement wasn't perfected to the level it is today.  These pitchers pitched in the days before integration and internationalization of the game.  Their steroids were not having to play against Pop Lloyd or Sadaharu Oh.

Well here we have something a little different - a player expressing apprehension.  "I might make another error."  That's great, Big Guy.  Only problem is that I've done played quite a bit of Legends of the Diamond, and have yet to see you and anybody else ever make an error in the game.  You have to make at least one before you can make another.  I'm not saying it's never happened, I'm just saying that you all seem to have fielding percentages that make Barry Larkin look like Edgar Martinez.  I guess he's just hungover and probably has some VD from his wild bash at Scores the night before.  Granted, Charlton wasn't exactly a known partier, but the face full of weary and regret says nothing but "I lost most of my money in poker last night, and the rest at the strip club."

That caption's a pretty interesting one, if not it shows the limitations of what they were working with.  They had strict character limitations, both in space and in the amount of characters they could use, but they do imagine to fit some pretty interesting, even legend-affirming stuff casual baseball fans might not know.  Oh and why discuss the Cy Young Award now when the man for whom it's named is in the game?

But is he a Legend?  No.  He's the archetypical Hero (he's the only one from this game I used in my Level explanations on the previous page): Legend-like moments, but bad seasons keep him down.  Solid Level 4 guy, though.

I'd prefer it, if...

Lefty Grove was in for Gomez
Walter Johnson for Ford
Christy Mathewson for Carlton
Grover Cleveland Alexander for Dean
Tom Seaver, one borderline Level 5er deserves another for Gibson (maybe), or if you wanted civil rights street cred, Satchel Paige (they weren't exactly strict record keepers in the Negro Leagues. so no stat links for players of that category).

Averaging out the Legendary content among the pitchers in this game, one reaches level 3.45 or something, roughly equaling Whitey Ford.  Not bad, but we should have a bona fide legend on our hands.

So go the pitchers, here come the position players.