The "tour's" logo. Word to that.
The setup a few minutes before it began, from where I was sitting. It
was pretty much exactly like this during the intermission.
Nobou. Huzzah.
This guy's
noggin is my only complaint about my seat and the view from it during the show.
This guy was also taking notes about the show.
Arine and Co. play without visual backdrop.
Ooh. An airship.
(FFI-III Medley, I think)
Arnie really liked to chew the fat.
Don Flamenco in the front-center-right. I liked him better in Punch-Out!!
Wizes of red and white.
They would not leave
the Square-Enix suits alone. Nor was my camera nimble enough to evade
the the spheroid in the bottom right corner.
That's the opera vocalist during the "Distant Worlds" (FFXI) tune. Here she is just standing there, which she did for most of the song.
Thou hast done well in catching the Chocobo, FFII PSP style.
Operaing it up for the old opera tune.
During "Terra's Theme", those responsible for the visuals showed their rudimentary level rom hacking prowess by using a text editor to change FFVI's
credits that show up during the game's introduction to those for the show.
Umetsau
and Arnie in a hilariously awkward embrace before "One Winged Angel."
"OWA." Note the glorious
choir, the atmospheric lighting, intense musicians... and irritating Advent Children
video footage.
This is how it ended. The logos are flaming, which segued nicely from the "OWA" video, which ended with one of those Sephiroth/fire sequences.
1) "Opening/Bombing Scene" (FF7) - I have very little to say about FFVII's opening. It's a pretty bland ambient piece, one that won't divert attention from the opening FMV (which itself exists for no good reason other than to showcase the game's then-state of the art technology). I'd have definitely preferred the gorgeous "Prelude" tune, but I digress. The only reason I can imagine for using this song is that it's the natural segue to the bombing scene, the first playable one in FFVII. And by 'natural segue', I mean change the beat, tempo, time signature, tone and anything else about it to make those two songs the most arbitrary pairing ever.
"Bombing Scene" is one of my favorite songs in the game: it fit the mood of the game and set the tone very well. "Man, this game is going to be awesome!" is the thought I literally had when first playing it. It's fast-paced, exciting and mysterious at the same time. Of course, they done fucked it up in concert, as I knew they would. The second I saw it on the track listing, I knew they were going to blow it.
And they did. You see, what makes "Bombing Scene" good is not only the setting of the song, it's everything that makes most songs that have these elements bad. It's the wailing semi-synthetic noises, instruments you can't define, the erratic change, the delay and reverb and other studio effects... you know, stuff you can't very well duplicate with a symphony. When performed organically, professionally and naturally, "Bombing Scene" sounds unrecognizable, comparatively disorganized and unnatural. Upon starting a new quest and hearing the version of the tune on the game, you knew something great was going to happen. If you instead heard the symphony's rendition, you wouldn't know what the hell was going on, and you would demand a refund if you're from those areas of the world.
That's not to say it's complete garbage, because it's a semi-interesting version in its own unique way. In spite of the chaos and unnaturality of it all, there's still some use for this rendition. I just don't know what it is.
- Song's Rating: 4/7
Alternative suggestion: "Prelude" should've got its own entry here. Or better yet, stick it at the beginning as is per usual Final Fantasy fare.
2) "Fisherman's Horizon" (FF8) - The song from the game comes... You know, I don't really remember when exactly the song appears in the game. I'm pretty sure it comes at a time there's a good deal of walking, but you don't get anywhere and a good deal of talking, but nothing is truly said. That narrows it down, doesn't it?
But I do remember the song itself. It's a very slow, whimsical, almost melancholy piece, it's beautifully arranged and pushes your buttons well enough to make its way into memory. The song as performed in Distant Worlds is pretty much everything it was on the OST, technically and artistically, only bigger, meaning it will likely stay in more prominent areas of memory longer. There was also the one legitimately funny part of all the video sequences was also in this song. It was the part where Siefer is fishing, not very well, and some other SeeDer is doing so better, so he brags to a female SeeD member. She is not impressed and kicks the SeeDer into the water. That was good for a little chuckle, I guess. This is the highlight of the second set.
Song's Rating: 6/7
3) "Memora de Stono" aka "Distant Worlds" (FF11) - This is either the intro or ending song to the MMO. No matter what, it's a snoozer. The first half of this one sounded like two or three church hymns and the second half sounded like a remedial opera tune, so the choir was back for this one. Adding to this was the fact I fact zero appreciation of the song or the game from which it comes. I also found it interesting how they wheeled out this hotshot soprano solo vocalist to the front-center of the stage, only to see her merely standing there for over four minutes. Most lead guitarists of rock bands might not know a whole helluva lot, but at least they know it's very awkward if they're standing in the spotlight twiddling their thumbs for the 80% of the song they're silent.
Alternative suggestion: I don't know FFXI not really having played it, and I would preferably use a song from that game. Because FFIV I feel is underrepresented, I'd to have seen "Red Wings", which would've really got my fists pumping with a little tinkering, and the "Main Theme to Final Fantasy IV" which would've made for a beautiful, jaw-dropping performance, with tinkering. The reason those songs need tinkering is because they're like a minute, just so y'all know. Speaking of FFIV...
Song's Rating: 3/7
4) "Theme of Love" (FF4) - I've always called this one "Rosa's Theme" since whenever she'd pop up, this droning, sappy tune would cue up. Fortunately, the Chicago Pops Orchestra removed most of the sap (and the limitations of 1991 technology) to create something pretty wonderful. They elongated this one-minute blurb into a full four-minute piece by emphasizing the strings and making their patterns more elaborate without making the song feel overstretched. This plan sound like it could've worked with more FFIV tunes (since essentially that entire OST can be described as "one-minute blurbs"). This rendition, though, will likely stick with me beyond this show because I've heard the song (especially that three note pattern... come to think of it, that pattern is pretty much the entire song), not because the performance was especially powerful.
The video accompaniment of this one was a tad iffy - it was entirely made with clips of the DS remake, in fact, this may be a DS remake of the song, and out of all the songs that suffer from that 'on again off again' syndrome was this one. The clips were, though, better-looking than I thought they would be, and I'm now looking forward to it 3% more than I was before the show.
Song's Rating: 5/7
Alternative suggestion: Although it was done well enough, I thought the set could've done without this one. Instead replace with one of the FFIV suggestions in the previous song.
5) "Swing de Chocobo" - Yeah, you know this one from pretty much the entire Final Fantasy series. It's fun, upbeat and goofy, the one song from this entire show that can be described as such. The video montage is arguably better here than in any other video: Chocobos running around, sometimes to the beat. The also represented the entire series very well here, even slipping Final Fantasy XII a few seconds of screen time.
The song itself is pretty much exactly what one would expect: A swinggin' version of the Chocobo music, complete with a loud, dominant drum beat and a trumpet solo (the drums were, by the way, hidden behind those large upright basses, I think, so they were obscured from where I was sitting - I'd have certainly like to see the percussionist swinging like a madman). A very nice change of pace (it's sandwiched between two schmaltzy songs with the word 'Love' in the title), if not predictable and necessary consider the paucity of upbeat stuff in the set. Only complaint I have is that we already heard Chocobo-related music; it could have been FF3's entire contribution to the audio, all but completely nullified and forgotten. What a way to minimize my favorite game ever, guys.
- Song's Rating: 6/7
6) "Love Grows" (FF8) - Do we really need another sappy, slow, melodramatic love song, or a song with such implications? Especially considering the last one was just two songs ago. Apparently, we do. The song was performed with, more or less, pinpoint accuracy when compared to my memories of the song, which aren't great (although I do, unlike most of the rest of FF8, remember the song and scene it comes from, which thankfully wasn't used in the video sequence), though if I had to pick one Final Fantasy love-themed song to include in this show, it would be this one by a frankly wide margin. If placed in the right setting, which is decidedly not the one from the game, it could trigger tears from the ducts of the most insecure Maddox wannabes.
But - and there's always a but - they replace those chimes and triangles with a piano, a winding, meandering piano no less. Those dings and dongs are what separate this song from the sap. They are well-placed, well-toned and perfectly used. Replacing the chimes with a more generic and less memorable piano is like removing everybody but Axl, and replacing them with nobodies and calling them Guns N Roses.
- Song's Rating: 5/7
Alternative suggestion: Just get some chimes and shit and watch the man-tears form. What, you mean you could bring out a full choir for just a few songs, a flamenco guitarist for two, a soprano gal for one, and three vocalists who spew no more than eight lines apiece in the next song, but you couldn't get a damn triangle to enhance this one?
7) "Maria and Draco" (FF6) - For all the regard given to this soundtrack, I find it a tad surprising we had to wait so long for a song from this game. It has got to be pretty close to VII, VIII and X in terms of its uber-fanbase, and would have many stupid fan-made videos made with its FMVs if it came from that era. (Whoops I just called three Final Fantasy games by number alone. I hope nobody caught that.)
I'm glad these guys didn't bother attempting that hilariously pretentious (I prefer to call it ballyhooed) ending score or producing a medley of those damn "Dancing Mad" tracks; the former fails as a stand-alone piece of music (although makes an admittedly good background to that game's ending), whereas the latter are just irritating.
So the Opera Scene! I always thought it was one of those asinine moments in otherwise fine games. Of course such a statement implies there aren't other scenes that bring the game down, which there are. Now, say what you will about the Somethingaful.com guys - I'd say they're very hit-or-miss, usually miss. But this quote from one of them couldn't have hit the nail more on the head:
The Opera scene in Final Fantasy VI, is, in my mind, at best a failed attempt to make an interesting distraction. All that music filtered through layers of digitization and sound chips wasn't nothing to cheer about. I have no idea what the nerdgasm is about, and, much like the ravings of fanatical holocaust deniers, I really don't care.
The Distant Worlds version is much better, likely how the song was supposed to sound. I can see how somebody who invests too much emotional stock in video games would get sensitive over this tune (whereas I can't believe people are legitimately by that wailing digitized mess found on the SNES cart). All in all, it was pretty effective.
This doesn't change the fact, though, that I hate opera. Much like I can't appreciate Yngwie Malmsteen, opera to me is little more than how long and how loudly can you hold your notes. It's all about technical ability. And the crooners here do little to change my opinion on the subject. Not helping the cause is that this song lumbers in at over 12 minutes, and during most of it, there was no video support. The video that was there was just Locke running around and sometimes getting into fights, which is really all the opera scene is if you remember it correctly.
Song's Rating: 3/7
Alternative suggestion: "Epitaph." You want some sentimental bullshit? Move this one to the flamenco series, stick this one after FFIX's entry and make Don Flamenco earn his keep. Although the piano dominates this one, I can imagine some plucky-pluck sprucing it up. Then watch the eyes glaze with emotion. Or maybe just mine. Unless the emotion is rage for removing this inexplicably 'popular' 'song.'
After the Opera, a nerdgasm ensued with an undeserved standing ovation that felt like it lasted as long as the song. After a few awkward moments onstage, Arnie Roth botched an attempt to pretend this was the last song, where one spazz screamed "One Winged Angel". so we segue into the 'encore'...
8) "Terra's Theme" (FF6) - Really, quite beautiful if I say so myself, if not because it temporarily disappointed nerds who showed just to hear that other song. A minimalist take on the green-haired weirdo's theme, although the song isn't a complicated beast at all, and I'd thought it would be better if the string arrangements were a little more intricate. Would be great, if they didn't fuck it up by adding drums. Seriously, they dominate the otherwise fragile song and are nigh inappropriate.
Song's Rating: 5/7
Alternative suggestion: Just lose the drums.
After this, Roth does a better job at pretending this is the last one, but it's still pretty obvious the performers aren't getting out alive unless they do...
9) "One Winged Angel" (FF7) - Nobou helped introduce this one. Yes, stupid, freaking OWA. Although it would be awesome if they left the crowd hanging without firing up this one, because if gauging the crowd is any indicator, they were all there just to see this one, and perhaps the opera. Really, though, it was a damn good, possibly perfect, rendition of the song. The choir was, obviously, back for this one. You know this one, and I don't need to tell you how good it can potentially sound if performed professionally in a theater.
But a problem ensues: the video was almost exclusively made up of Advent Children clips. I don't need to have seen it to know that it's terrible; rather it is terrible until proven otherwise - it's dreadful and mortifying by default. Its use here almost single-handedly sets back the progress this concert has made in the mainstream acceptance of game culture.
Oh, and I call OWA stupid and freaking whenever I discuss it because it's far too popular for its own good. I don't get what people see in it. While it's climactic, it's also a tad awkward and doesn't sound quite as bombastic as most people seem to believe it to be. It gets the job done, but it alone should not ensure Nobou Uematsu's descendants a life free of work or financial worry.
- Song's Rating: 6/7
After the final notes were played, and the performers and Nobou indulged in a few more curtain calls (since they didn't already indulge in the audience's low standards enough), people went their separate ways and the once blue 'Final Fantasy Distant Voices' logo tuned flamin'. Then came the most jarring image of the evening: a guy in a wheelchair was being frantically pushed down the theater's aisle, perhaps rushing from the handicapped-friendly seating to the Uematsu meet and greet area. For a fleeting instant, I felt kinda sorry for a person - no small feat.
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Show's average song rating: 5/7 (exactly... although the longer songs tended to be worse, but this is a nice good number so I'll leave it at that)