Action 52: The Feature

The Internet got it wrong with their love fest of Chuck Norris. They should've written cheesy one-liners and invented drinking games to the tune of a different right-wing ass kicker: Norman Schwarzkopf. If he found out they were likely using his name without permission and tracked the guilty parties down, it'd be one helluva Youtube. Even if The Bear wasn't the main inspiration, he should still smack whoever responsible silly for making such a deep, stinky pile of crap. Too bad he'll probably be voting for Mike Huckabee.

Again, where do these guys think they can just go about retooling games from their past? Do they think I wouldn't eventually find out their scheme of sloth for the whole world to see? Or perhaps they have the delusional audacity to think fans of the NES Action 52 would already be nostalgic about that set of games just two years after.

Well, at least the NES version didn't have one-hit deaths, and if y'all were reared in such an environment, where the one-hit death was king, this seemed legitimately innovative. The Genesis version regresses to those days of old. And, is it just me, or does the Storm Over the Desert actually look quite a bit better than this sad sack? And, you know what, just thinking about this and the gaul spoke of in the previous paragraph for more than 30 seconds is enough to get me angry, and we've long since passed that.